Monday, 31 July 2006

Just finished watching Closer. B and G left today. Dad was nice and awake this evening. Anaesthetist was more positive, they want to start putting dad into a chair. That's good. So he can get fresh air. Thank you for continuing to heal my dad. Thank you for helping me to sort out my brothers appointment. Thank you for all the strength. Please keep sending healing energy and love.


My brother and his wife had to fly back to the UK. Four weeks of no work, no pay. But things weren't as critical as before.

Sunday, 30 July 2006

Well 4 weeks you could say. Had a really good visit this morning, Dr Mills is very positive about dad's recovery. He is getting more himself each day, although I think he realises now sick he is and how weak he has become. I am positive that things are going onward and upward. We bumped into the anesthetist, 'Mr Hope for the Best' and he is still not too positive. I realise that anything may happen, geez, they could discharge dad and he could get hit by a bus.
It's of no use focusing our energy on what could happen. All I know is that my dad is getting stronger each day, and we will have to show him how strong the Fisher constitution is. My dad is good at this, he has done it before and this is not his time. He has too much to live for.
Mills said that dad can have boiled sweets, but dad is not taking any chances :-)
Thank you for strengthening my dad, and healing him from the inside. Please can my dads bowel heal so that there is no chance of infection and that his abdomen can heal rapidly.
Please keep his room free from bugs and other nasties that could weaken my dad further.
Thank you for caring and sending down your light to heal and fill the room with love.

Saturday, 29 July 2006

My dad. They changed the dressing again today. Mills removed some stitches and the found the leak. He inserted 2 catheters to speed up the drying out.
Dad is still so weak. Very little talking and he is clearly tired.
It doesn't help that the nurses don't seem to know what they need to know.
Lord, please help to drain my fathers wound, so that the tears can heal and then his abdomen can close nicely. I really want my dad to start getting stronger.
Thank you for giving is strength and for giving my dad strength.
Lord, please continue sending the healing energy of the Holy Spirit to help my dad. A bubble of white light that will surround him and protect him.
And Angelina can stay too, I think the nurses need some guidance too at the moment. Thanks be to all the angels who are helping us through this difficult time. We will continue to be strong.

Friday, 28 July 2006

Good visit today, he was a bit tired. Tina's 2nd day. Arrived late tonight, drinks at work, Kerins resignation etc. Dad looking tired, feeling clammy. He's not keen on Goodness, I think her name is. He calls her a 'lighty'. Plus the calculations for fluids in/fluids out were not correct. An anesthetist was around too, he said 'we're hoping for the best'. Aren't we all? I'm doing more than that, I'm praying for the best. I have angels, spirit guides and friends watching over my dad and helping him heal from the inside. I pray tonight for the Lord to strengthen my dad so that his temperature will normalise. Thank you for all the strength you have given us. Thank you Lord.
We love you dad, sleep tight, keep getting stronger.

Thursday, 27 July 2006

Dads still doing good. Brushed his teeth today. The vacuum is sucking away. He is about 70% aware. So all good, Removed naso-gastro tube today.
He's still frail, but he is doing good.
Thank you for keeping him strong, please continue to help him heal. Thank you so much for today, it was a good day. I really felt it. Work, everything, the burden is lightening.
Thank you Lord for giving me strength.
I couldn't have done this on my own.
Thank you.


Subject: update
Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2006 14:32:10 +0200

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but things seem to change daily
so it's hard to say exactly how things are going.

Yesterday the blood cultures from friday came back and my dad is
clear from infection at the moment. They gave him another blood
transfusion yesterday and the wound care specialist has fitted a
special vacuum to help clear and heal his wound. Doctor seems happy
with the progress so far. Hopefully he will continue getting stronger each day, I look forward to him being transferred out of ICU, so that we know he is properly on the road to recovery. As weak as he is, he is finding the energy to complain, and that's always a good sign.

x
v


I made a decision that I would keep up the daily visits during work hours, at least until my dad was out of ICU. Until then we couldn't be sure that he was out of the woods.

Wednesday, 26 July 2006

Wow, after a worrisome day, it feels like I can exhale finally! The tests came back clear! Glory to God in the highest. Thank you for having mercy on us. Please continue to strengthen my dad so that we aren't held back by further setbacks. Its so good to spend time with dad and see him improving. Thank you so much.
As for the ex, he really is a confused person, after jolling for 6 weeks and barely giving me a second thought he wants to know where he stands. I really don't have time for nonsense, I'm just not bothered. I'm just so relieved that my dad is fine. I hope he will grow in strength each day so that he does not get any more infections. I am also positive that the vacuum pump will be the best thing for his wound. I am thankful for this day. I am thankful that our God is a kind and gracious god. Please help me to stay focussed, especially with all these odd jobs.
I want my life to stay simple now. I prefer this.

Thursday, 25 July 2006

Had a good visit this evening. This morning dad was quite sleepy, they had sedated him during the night and so he was quite relaxed and slept well all day. It was really nice to be able to talk to Dad and spend time with him. He seemed a lot more aware of things tonight. He reckons he has told mom he'll stay till friday, just one more week and then she can sign him out. Then he has done his bit… He says he'll be fine at home, he's done this before.
Lord, tonight I pray with all my heart that you can have mercy on my dad. Please help heal his blood and his temperature. Please lord, please can the candida be gone. Please strengthen my father so that he can fight all these challenges. Please send down the healing light of the Holy Spirit to rid my father of pain and illness. I pray to you Lord. Please send your special angels and our Angelina to nurse my dad into good health. He so wants to get better, and he can with your help. I ask this in your name. Amen.


Subject: Re: Re:
Date: Tue, 25 Jul 2006 15:26:01 +0200

As for my dad, I just get so frustrated. We thought he was doing
better but yesterday when my mom spoke to the doctor all he could say is that my dad is a very sick man. He has been saying that for 3 weeks dammit! And then he mentions that the septicemia has cleared up - he NEVER told us there was septicemia! I just get pissed off cos they need to let us know whats going on, you know? He has been
running a temp for nearly 2 weeks and they don't friggin know why! At the moment I am relying more on prayers than doctors.

v

Monday, 24 July 2006

I am so angry and frustrated, I feel like the doctor isn't coming to the party. Half truths and telling us what suits them. I just feel so angry because this is serious. This is my dad's life! I want to know whats wrong now, not in 5 days when its being treated!
From 'bugs' to MRSA and 'infection' to septicemia. I just feel like they are not being straight with us. But regardless, I will be strong and be positive and pray for my father to recover and show them. Show them that faith is more valuable. Lord, please clear out my dads abdomen, please help heal his intestines and allow his wound to heal. Please help his fever come down. Please just heal my dad from the inside out. Continue strengthen him so that he can show the doctors what true healing is. Please Lord, send all your special angels to nurse and comfort my dad, so that he may make a full recovery.
Thank you for taking care of him so far, and answering our prayers. Your power is great and merciful Lord. Thank you for having mercy on us. Thank you for having mercy on us. Thank you for being a kind God.
Soothe my fathers mind tonight so that he may rest peacefully and awake to another glorious day filled with the healing light of the Holy Spirit.
Dads hands are getting stronger, he comes and goes with his clarity. But he is still tired. He is in good care though.

Sunday, 23 July 2006

Met Dr R today. He explained the tear in dads abdomen and how they are allowing it to drain and dry out and it should repair itself. Dads vitals are doing better, hr down etc. Even the anesthetist agreed that dad wasn't looking good yesterday. But he is stronger-ish. Still thin and and weak, but he is better than yesterday. I pray that all the muck can drain out of my dad and his abdomen can dry out and heal. I pray that he will continue to grow stronger each day. I pray that the candida will clear up real soon.
Thank you Lord for answering my prayers, thank you for giving us strength. Thank you. Please continue to help our family during this difficult time. Amen.

Saturday, 22 July 2006

This morning was a difficult visit, dad was looking so weak and the smell from the draining fluid was so awful. I was really frightened. But this evening was heaps better (not without the help of some prayer :-) ). Dads looking better, he was chatting to the nurse, telling her our names. Fighting to get the mask off cause it was making him claustrophobic. Only thing still worrying me was the sleep and the smell. Thandi came and spoke to us and explained that it is so good that dad is off the ventilator, and it will take a while for him to normalise his sleep etc. She is also glad that Dr R is taking over, she says he is really on the ball. So I'm confident that things are on track. The power of prayer. Healing my dad from within. Lord please continue strengthening my dad. Thank you for the peace you have given us all.

Friday, 21 July 2006

MRSA is clear, but dad hasn't slept in 3 days. Starting to struggle with his breathing and they will put him back on the ventilator if they have to. They also picked up candida in his wound. I pray that its not in his blood. Sat with him for 2 hours this afternoon so he rested a bit, but he doesn't seem himself. Spoke to the nurse as well, which was nice to see his point of view.
Oh and his temp had come down an inkling. Good news.
Lord please allow my dad the rest he needs. Please strengthen him to get through this stage of healing. Please help him stay strong.


I spoke to the studio head and she let me go off for the afternoon to sit with dad and let him sleep a bit. He was starting to look wide (and wild eyed). So I held his hand and told him that he could sleep and I would watch over him. I chatted with his nurse for a bit. She told about what it was like when she used to work in a government hospital. How the ICU is 5 times the size and the patients are much worse, usually from horrific car accidents. She really battled in that environment because she saw a lot of patients who would be improving, dying because of negligence. And it would get swept under the carpet.
She also said that Dad had said that we don't really care about him. That we are only here because he is sick and otherwise wouldn't give him a second thought.

Thursday, 20 July 2006

They took the tracheotomy out today. Great news. Was able to chat to dad today, tell him what he had been through, how long he has been in ICU. A bit delirious, but this evening was worse, he was really out of it, and slurring too. They wanted to try change change his nurse cos he is so paranoid he won't sleep.
Maria cooked us an amazing dinner. Really tasty and delicious. Sushi, pea soup, spinach feta lasagne, chocolate pudding. Really stunning. Lovely to see the girls again and chat about interesting stuff.
Still worried about my dad, I hope he gets better soon. Lord please help heal him from the inside out.


Subject: Re: hi!
Date: Thu, 20 Jul 2006 10:04:55 +0200

Hey there,

Dad is doing better, awake now and although he can't talk is full of nonsense. He is off the ventilator, but they will see how it goes before they remove the tracheotomy. He is still weak, and we have to wait for the cultures to come back before we know what's up with the infections.

x
v


Dad was convinced that his nurse had a knife and was gonna try stab him during the night. With all the hectic pain meds and antibiotics he was on, his mind was completely addled. So strange.

Wednesday, 19 July 2006

This morning dad was asking for soda water and trying to pull off the vent tube.
This evening he was off the ventilator and a lot more positive. Smiling, asking about Nathan. Apparently earlier he was throwing the stress ball at the large day nurse. All in all, very positive. I really just need the peace of mind that the infections have cleared up and his wound is healing. That is all I need.
Please Lord continue to heal my father from the inside out. Thank you so much for bringing us this far. Please heal my father and take away his pain. Thank you for kindness. Thanks to all the angels, but your work is not yet complete. Please continue to spread the good.

Tuesday, 18 July 2006

Dads first comment tonight was that he 'wants to come home TONIGHT' and that hospitals are shit. That pretty much set the tone for the rest of the visit. I am actually afraid for when the ventilator comes off. He is gonna have so much to say, and the fact that he can make us feel so shit without saying a word sucks. Cheeky man.
Mom is getting full of it too. It seems the more dad improves, the more annoyed she gets.
Ag, the more things change, the more they stay the same. Anyway.
I pray tonight that the tests can come back clear. Good riddance to the infections. Dad is doing great to be breathing on his own too. I don't know if he realises how bad things were. The wound worries me quietly. Where is all that fluid coming from? Why? When will it stop?
Please can you heal my father from the inside out. From his heart to his tummy to his whole attitude. Please cleanse and heal. Amen.

Monday, 17 July 2006

Boy was dad pissed off tonight. He just wanted water but he is so frustrated. Then the nurse gave him like 2ml. He was so pissed off with her. Its funny, but it must be terrible. He must be bored to tears with our rambling on. But I guess what can we do. I will continue praying that the infection clears up rapidly and he can come off the ventilator. Please help heal my father. Thank you Lord for listening to our prayers. Heal his wound. Please.


Subject: update
Date: Mon, 17 Jul 2006 12:09:13 +0200

Hi there peops,

Visited my dad this morning, they have slowly been reducing my dad's sedatives and now he is awake. It is a difficult stage because although he can see us and hear us, he is not able to communicate clearly. I can tell he isn't 100% comfortable, but until he improves there is little that can be done.
From a few yes/no questions today I managed to figure out that they hadn't brushed his teeth this morning, and he wanted them to do it. He was also asking for water.
Can you imagine your mouth being dry and not being able to say 'hey, gimme some water'.
Doctor says we just need to be patient and let the antibiotics work.
As long as he is not deteriorating then it's all good. Keep sending positive thoughts…

x
v

Sunday, 16 July 2006

Visited Dad this morning he was awake, chatted to him. Winnie made us all lamb and veg and gravy. Tried to catch up with the Lost videos.
Mom went in the afternoon, we all went in the evening.
Dad is nice and awake, not fully but he can nod and shake his head. Tries to talk, which must be so frustrating for him. Mills reckons this is gonna take some time and we need to just be patient. It must be hard for dad to be awake and unable to communicate. I really hope and pray that the MRSA dies real soon and his wound gets the last of the muck out and closes up nicely. Thank you for EVERYTHING so far, please keep my dad strong, especially now that he is more aware of things. I am happy that my dad sees me and hears me for the first time in 2 weeks. Thank you.
Georgie was moved to tears, so happy to get a reaction back. I do wish that my mother would be more positive though. Ag.
Sleep tight dad.

Saturday, 15 July 2006

Dad has been stable today, still got a temp though. Esme asked me how we are coping, it must be hard to see my dad like this. I just kinda brushed it off with the be positive spiel. But we just rewatched the DVD of mom and dads holiday and it was so difficult to watch the pics of dad. It's like I had forgotten what he was like, what his voice sounds like, his smile.
Lord please, I really want and need my dad to get better soon. Please. He needs to get out of ICU and off the ventilator so that we can hear his voice and see him laugh. Please Lord. I pray with all my heart and soul. I miss my dad. I really miss him. Please help bring down his temperature ad heal his infections and heal his infections and any other complications. Please can he come off the ventilator and be moved to a surgical ward so that he can keep recuperating. Please Lord. I need you to give my dad all the strength and power he needs to get better. Your power is almighty and I know that miracles are possible. Please put a bubble of white light of the Holy Spirit around my dad to protect and heal him. With faith all things are possible. Thank you for listening.

Friday, 14 July 2006

Went in this morning, felt sick to my stomach with worry. Although his temp was still up, the swelling in his hands has gone down tremendously. Tonight when we came to visit his eyes were open. What a good sign. I don't believe he was fully alert, but it was reassuring to talk to him and explain everything. I really hope that things will look up from here on out. Next step, clear out infection and then off the ventilator.
Thank you Lord for listening to our prayers. We will continue to pray and ask for your strength. Thank you for your grace and mercy.


Subject: update
Date: Fri, 14 Jul 2006 12:30:25 +0200

Visited my dad this morning, still stable. They gave him a blood
transfusion yesterday to up his haemoglobin levels. The anaesthestist is happy with the progress of his lungs. Has been running a temperature since Wednesday, it has come down but is still high.
Finally the swelling in his hands has gone down. He is still very sick, we just have to wait and hope that all infection clears up quickly.

x
v

By this stage I am going into work early, leaving mid-morning for the 10.30 visit - staying for an hour if I can and then back to work.
I am so grateful for my studio head. It was her words of encouragement that gave me the freedom to go visit my dad every day and not feel guilty.
I couldn't take a lunch hour and had to leave at 4.30 on the dot to get home, bath and eat by 6.30pm, when we would leave for the evening visit. It becomes a routine, we take turns driving, sometimes my sister has the family round for dinner before.

Thursday, 13 July 2006

This morning the nurse said that she could tell the antibiotics were working, but this evening the nurse seemed to think we need to give things more time. They put a stoma bag on his wound today to gather the secretions, and of course Winnie and Mom had to have a look. I then had to endure graphic descriptions of his wound. I'm really annoyed, I feel that every time they come out of ICU they have long face. We all know Dad is sick, but being miserable isn't gonna help.
For me what is worrying is that Thandi told us to make sure the doctor is doing something about the redness on his sides. For a nurse to point that out does scare me. But I am positive that my dad is strong and will continue to fight, we cannot and will not give up hope. His breathing has come a long way from sunday and I trust that God has heard my prayers. Lord each day it seems that there is another obstacle in my fathers path to good health. Please help strengthen my father to fight these things in his way. Give him the strength to heal. Please guide Dr Mills and help him give my dad the best treatment. Please watch over and guides the nurses caring for my dad. That then will never tire and always give him the care he deserves.
This is the beginning to take its toll on all of us, but we are still read to fight his illness. We will fight until my father is healing and fighting again too! Lord please send the healing light of the Holy spirit to surround my dad and heal his pains. Please lord, please. I ask for your mercy. In your name we pray. Amen


Subject: update
Date: Thu, 13 Jul 2006 08:04:51 +0200

Tests back from the lab show that he has picked up quite a strong bug (glad they found it, we could tell something hasn't been right.) They have moved Dad into isolation to prevent any reinfection and changed him to the correct antibiotic. He is gonna need a extra heap of prayers to get past this hurdle, so get praying!

x
v


Subject: Re: update
Date: Thu, 13 Jul 2006 16:14:02 +0200

No they have him sedated, its too much extra stress at the moment. As he improves, and his breathing stabilises - he has been hyperventilating a bit, they will sedate less so they can take him off the ventilator. He is off the morphine drip though, they just
sedate him at intervals now.
The bug is MRSA - one of the superbugs, so it will take a while for the all clear, but luckily the antibiotic seems to be working.



Wow, I managed to sound pretty chipper for someone who's dad is in hospital with multiple infections. Ignorance is bliss.
By this stage dads stitches are slightly open and they are draining the fluid from his bloated abdomen. It's sounds awful, but it was great news to us, that whatever nastiness inside his tummy was draining out.
The nurses in ICU are great. They are with the patients 24/7 and sometimes I think they know more about a patients wellbeing than a surgeon who pops in for 5 minutes a day. We were warned by a nursing sister about my dad's treatment. We still didn't know he had sepsis. We were being so optimistic.

Wednesday, 12 July 2006

Just got back from hospital, things were looking good today from what I heard. Off sedation etc. Well his needle from sunday's drip has tested positive for MRSI. They said they are moving him into isolation so that he can get better without the risk of further infection, but it seems to me its so that he doesn't infect others.
They kept calling it a 'bug' which I found unusual. But they are treating it I can only pray with all my heart and soul that those 'buggers' die! Every last one of them. Mills has brought out the big guns, but now I think its time we brought out the extra big guns. Extra angels, extra healing light from the holy spirit. Double time!
The more we are challenged, the more I will dig my heels in. I will NOT submit! Not now, after all this. This has not been for nothing.
I'm glad on the other hand that they have finally picked up what's wrong. My dad is so sick. Lord, please help him fight this. Please give him a boost of strength and vitality to kick this bug. I pray with all my heart and soul. Your glorious power is so great, you can move oceans.
Please spare a speck of your grace and power for my father.
And now my poor brother is showing signs of shingles. It doesn't rain, it pours. But if this is a test of my family's mettle, let us show you how strong we are. We will beat this, and after, we be the best family we have ever been. In God we trust. Amen.


Subject: update
Date: Wed, 12 Jul 2006 14:44:11 +0200

Everything is still stable, doctor is happy with progress so far.
Lungs are doing better. As of this morning he is off the morphine, so the next step is to wake him and start trying to take him off the ventilator. Not out of the woods yet, but at least there is no
deterioration. His swelling is still an issue, but they will continue monitoring it.

x
v


I don't remember ever being told directly by a doctor or nurse that my dad had picked up MRSA. They would only call it a 'bug'. We arrive for a visit and my dad is in isolation because of how sick he is, until we realise that he is not isolation for his protection, but to protect everyone else in the ward. From an infection he picked up in intensive care.
Which brings me to another point. People in ICU are VERY ill. Visits are very limited to close family. So when I saw huge extended families hovering outside, each wanting a turn for a visit, and then not following procedure I would get so angry. Don't come into ICU if you have a cold. Make sure you wash your hands PROPERLY once you enter. And then, during the visit, don't be chatting on your cellphone. Your behaviour could be putting someone elses life at risk. Phew. That was a bit of a rant…

Tuesday, 11 July 2006

Dad's still doing good, doctors and nurses are very happy with his progress so far. Mom and Win are still really stressed about his swelling and his stomach. But they have sent some of the liquid from his wound to make a culture. So at least that may help give us answers. Otherwise I am very positive, O2 is down to 50% and he is on about 20 bpm, the machine is set at 8.
The tummy worries me that it could be a potential setback, but don't want to think of that. Not while things are going well.
Please can my dad respond to the antibiotics and clear up any infection that may be there. I pray that with your strength my father can reach deep within and fight this illness.
Carl visited too tonight, and it was good to see him. He made us laugh, reminded me of Dad's sense of humour.
I have lit another candle to burn for dad, and perhaps focus all it's energy on his tummy for tonight.
Thank you for the strength you have given us to get us this far, please continue to help my father heal. In your name we pray.


Subject: update
Date: Tue, 11 Jul 2006 07:53:04 +0200

Firstly, I am doing way better than yesterday. I went off work and
was able to spend some time at the hospital. Got to speak to the doctor which is always good, it's nice to know exactly what's happening.

They performed a tracheotomy yesterday to assist with my dads
breathing. He looked a lot more comfortable afterwards, it's a lot
better than having a pipe down his throat. The ventilator was down to 80% and he was taking about 5 breaths per minute himself. So I think he has responded well to the procedure. But he will still be on the ventilator for a while.

The main concern is my dad's lungs and some swelling. He is on the big-boys of antibiotics, so I'm hoping any infection will start to clear up. At the moment he is not doing bad, but not doing great either. Doctor says we need to just take it a day at a time and see
how he responds.

Mom is popping in now before work, and will let us know how things went through the night.

Thanks for all your good thoughts and prayers,
v


I blindly refused to accept any negativity. I couldn't focus on the bloating, I had to think of the good things, for my own sanity.

Monday, 10 July 2006

Woke up this morning and the news wasn't good. Dad hadn't improved all night. Went in at 10.30 they decided to do a tracheotomy. Mills was concerned about Dad's lung infection and his swelling too.
Tonight's visit went a lot better. Dads looking so much more comfortable and he is taking about 5 bpm. The swelling is still worrying me, but I hope and pray that after a nights rest my dad will begin to show signs that the infection has passed.
Lord please help my father to heal and ease his pains. Strengthen him and guide him in his path to healing. Thank you for keeping all of us strong.
My mom also thinks that when dad comes home he will be a changed man. I too believe so. He has his grandkids that he loves so much, I'm sure he will have a different outlook.
Thank you for taking us this far, please continue with your grace and power to send the healing light of the holy spirit down to my dad. Amen.


Subject: update
Date: Mon, 10 Jul 2006 08:02:15 +0200

My dad has been doing okay up till now, but yesterday it seems some
sort of infection has set in. They believe it may be in his lungs. All his vitals are fine except for the ventilator which is now on
100% (it was previously only on 40%). This is not good, and the nurse was going to try wean him off it last night, but he has not yet made any progress. In the nurse's words, he is a very sick man.

Please keep sending positive thoughts, healing energy and prayers.

x
v


Now dad has a ventilator pipe straight into his windpipe. It sounds awful, but it really helped.

By this stage dad was swollen all over. His fingers were like fat sausages and his stomach was tight as a drum. I remember one of the nursing sisters showing us the red streaks on his torso to make sure we knew and that we made sure the doctor was taking care of it. At a later stage I looked up the red marks on the internet and that's how I knew that my dad had had septacemia. Apparently the nurses didn't think he would make he was so sick. We didn't know how bad it was.

Sunday, 9 July 2006

Things had been stable yesterday although my dad's heart rate and pulse seemed to be racing. And hearing our voices seemed to make it worse. Taking him off the ventilator was causing some strain too. Went this morning, they had changed all his lines around. A new set of antibiotics.
Now for the afternoon visit things seemed to have gotten worse. Bloated stomach, high heart rate all with no explanation. The ventilator is on 100% which is not a good sign. The anesthetist came and suggested x-rays and it seems it is a lung infection. He has somehow aspirated the stuff from his stomach. I'm just glad that it isn't his surgical wound. Well, I hope not. The nurse will try throughout the night to take down the O2, as this is not good to have on so high.
I am burning a candle for dad. This is a set back, but we are strong and our faith will give our father the strength to heal. I pray that his infection heals and he is able to strengthen enough to start breathing healthily.
My dad is strong, and I know inside he wants to get better. Lord, your will be done. Please heal my father and keep us strong and positive.
Tomorrow is another day, and I dedicate it to my dad's recovery. For the highest good of all involved. Amen

That night I lit a candle to burn in dedication to my father's healing. You should always dedicate a candle to something when you light it, it gives it a purpose to burn. The candle lighting became a nightly ritual until a week after my dad died. It reassured me to open my eyes in the middle of the night and see the tealight burning, at least if I couldn't be awake and praying, the candles was still there burning bright.

Friday, 7 July 2006

Just got home from hospital. Since the op he is doing well. They were worried about his blood pressure but that has stabilised. The slow progress really concerns me though. The doctor is satisfied that his condition is stable, but I think I'm expecting him to walk before he can run. I'm not sure how they are going to get him off the ventilator, but I send them all the prayers and angels they need to help my dad start breathing again.
I will feel such relief when my dad is out of ICU.
Please Lord, with your grace and power, heal my father. Strengthen and guide him through this time. Please Lord.

I can't write much else. This is my life now. I can't imagine doing anything else. Not while my dad is sick.
Prayer is a powerful thing. As is faith.
I will visualise a bubble of light protecting and healing my father. The white light of the Holy Spirit.

The ventilator. You don't ever want to have to be on a ventilator.
I know those machines backwards, in fact sometimes when we had locum nurses in, we had to show them what to do. Cos we had more experience with the machines then they did…

Thursday, 6 July 2006

Date: Thu, 6 Jul 2006 08:17:30 +0200

Hey peops,

Dad is critical but stable after the op, they are going to try weaning him off the morphine today. They want to see how he handles being off the ventilator. His low blood pressure is still the main
concern, we need to see an improvement to show that he is responding to the treatment.

x
v


Subject: update
Date: Thu, 6 Jul 2006 15:03:53 +0200

Slow progress, but things are improving slightly. Blood pressure has come up a bit, and they have lessened the morphine. Not a nice phase, he is more aware of his discomfort (ventilator etc) and he is trying to struggle a bit. I say we need to get rid of that ventilator next… baby steps.

x
v

Wednesday, 5 July 2006

Visited Dad today after surgery. Looked good. Visited again tonight, the nurse was helpful. Explained what they are doing next. We just need the bp to improve, that would be a positive sign that we need. Miracles are possible, but I don't think that we need one right now, my dad can recover on sheer will power. Plus our love and prayer. I'm gonna have a good rest, and look forward to a good day tomorrow. We love you Dad, please get well soon! x van




Date: Wed, 5 Jul 2006 08:18:52 +0200

Hey there peops.

Visited my dad last night, wasn't sure what to expect but critical
sounds a lot worse than it looks. He is sedated as he is still on the ventilator from the first op. Nevertheless he can hear us, and tries to respond when we talk to him. The doctor will be operating again later today to make sure the first op was successful.

I will let you know how it goes. Please send positive thoughts. :)

x
v



Date: Wed, 5 Jul 2006 14:35:57 +0200

Just been to visit my dad, the op this morning went well.
Everything he had fixed on monday is fine except for a small bit of infection which they cleaned out. It now a matter of waiting to see how he responds. His blood pressure is a bit low, the main concern at the moment.

x
v


We really had no idea how seriously ill Dad was. That small bit of infection was septicemia. But doctors don't tell you things like that.

Tuesday, 4 July 2006

11th Bodytalk
Just left ICU, said bye to Dad. I said that I will see you tomorrow after the operation, he opened his eyes and smiled and nodded. This is not a major thing. I know he can make it if he wants to or needs to. Rushed straight after my bodytalk, most of my session was adjusting after my trip and the other bit was about Dad and our relationship. How it is safe to love Dad. And how our relationship is linked to my heart as opposed to some relationships which link to the brain. Really special, tonight was a huge turning point in our relationship. Things can only get better. He just needs to get through tomorrow.
I'm not sure what to do tomorrow, if I should go to work or come be here for mom. If my guardian angel could just guide me.
I also visualised a bubble of white light around my dad, that will protect him and keep him safe.
I hope we can all rest well tonight for tomorrow.

I had been going to BodyTalk for over a year and not once did we ever address my difficult relationship with my dad. Until that night.
Dad had been in surgery the night before and we were still waiting to hear from the doctor how things went. I had barely arrived for BodyTalk (a modality similar to reiki) and my phone didn't stop ringing once. I had a feeling something wasn't right - but I decided to finish the session before I answered it. When I eventually did it was J, my ex-boyfriend. He said that my family had been trying to get hold of me. My dad wasn't doing well and I needed to get to the hospital. I drove the whole way to Parklands with tears streaming down my face. This kind of thing happens to other people, not me. After a bodytalk that focused on my dad, I was convinced he was dying.
My brother who lives in the UK phoned the surgeon. He suggested that they get on the next plane home. It was not looking good.

Monday, 3 July 2006

Hey there peops!

Made it home in one piece, not soo great to be back at work though

Thanks again for EVERYTHING, I really appreciate everything.

I dunno if mom has contacted you, but dad was having stomach pains last night (he was feeling fluey and so ate 2 oranges), he started
getting sick from the pain so they admitted him into Parklands to
monitor him. They have given him something for the pain. The doctor
is just waiting for the moment to see what to do next.

I'm sure mom will let you know if there is any news, but things seem
fine for now.

toodle loo



Dad was booked into surgery late that afternoon. We were not too stressed, because he had had surgeries before for minor obstructions, so it all seemed rather routine. I kept waiting to hear from my mom, but no word came. I was starting to worry, it was getting late and my mom still wasn't home.
Eventually I gave her a call - and she was also sounding worried. She didn't understand why it was taking such a long time. I felt so bad, so I said that I would come join her at the hospital so that she didn't have to wait alone.
Just as I was about to leave, she rang. Doctor was out of surgery, and apparently my dads small intestines were a mess. He said there was orange everywhere! But I was so relieved.
My dads eating habits were not good. He loved red meat and hardly every ate vegetables. So to hear that his overdose of oranges caused an abdominal obstruction was such a joke.

Sunday, 2 July 2006

Sunday my dad had started to feel the onset of flu and so ate 2 oranges at work to try and boost his vitamin C levels. By the time he got home he wasn't feeling any better so took a med-lemon and went to bed.

I was also feeling a little snotty after my trip and also took a med-lemon to help have a good sleep. Unfortunately all it did with the boost of caffeine was keep me up all night. By the time I got into bed my dad was suffering from a sore stomach.
He had a history of abdominal problems after surgery for a perforated colon many years back. After a call to his specialist he was told to take a buscopan and not worry unless nausea and/or vomiting set in. And after a while, that is what developed, so as I lay in bed wide awake, I heard them leaving to go to the hospital. I suppose I should have been concerned at this stage, but with my dads history, I thought it was just an obstruction and the doctor would know what to do. I was still awake in the early hours of the morning when my mom arrived home alone.
To this day, I have never taken another med-lemon…

Saturday, 1 July 2006

I arrived home on the 1st July after spending 3 weeks on holiday in London. I just had broken up with my boyfriend of 5 years a month earlier and enjoyed a wonderful sunny break in the UK with my brother and my friends.
While I was away my dad had just started work on a Shutdown. He drove a beach buggy so I let him use my car, cos it was winter at the time and he got up really early for work. He was so appreciative of my old golf, I could see it was really washed and looked after, unlike how I neglected it.
Saturday afternoon when I got home, my mom and dad were relaxing at home watching the Durban July on TV. I was too tired to join my friends at the July and so I spent the evening with them. We watched some DVDs my brother had made of my parents recent trip to see him.

This blog is dedicated to the last 74 days of my dads life, spent in hospital in 2006.

This was an incredibly difficult time for my entire family, and I don't think we realised exactly how difficult until it was over.

I kept a diary during this time - what started as just a simple record of each day, eventually became a desperate prayer and pleading for my father's recovery.

Consisting mostly of my diary entries (in italics). I will also add in emails that were sent and received (in courier), as well as my current feelings (in regular case) looking back at the events that passed. I hope that by sharing my reflection of the events two years on, this will become part of my healing process.

Regards